Avoidance

I am a really good avoider.  I avoid doing housework by checking my email.  I avoid doing dishes by checking Facebook.  I avoid going to bed by reading a book.  I avoid playing with my kids by hitting refresh just in case another email has arrived!  

Some days I simply just try to avoid life.  Not my best days.  So how to embrace my now?

I think sometimes I think that by avoiding I will get something better.  If I wait long enough, the dishes will get done and my kids will suddenly decide to amuse themselves and we'll all be happy.   Yeah right.

In reality I know that if I decided to just stop avoiding, we would all be happier.  Things would get done on time, I wouldn't be frustrated by a pile of work that I've let build up, and my kids would not have to whine to get my attention because I was trying to avoid my responsibilities as a mother.

So now what...

Schedule.  Do not wait.  Plan ahead.  Enjoy my children in all their many facets.  (crying and smiling!)  Stop checking my email 10 times a day just on the chance something exciting has happened...

Killing Chickens

We recently killed off the meat birds we have been raising this spring and as I stood over one that I roasted the other day and picked its bones, I contemplated my relationship with it.  I had seem that chicken from tiny chick to meat on my table.  Not an experience most people have today.  I felt good about it.  My husband, who did the killing, felt a little more ambivalent.  I might have too if I had had to go out and kill it first.  Maybe next time I should make myself do this part too.

I was a vegetarian for quite a few years until I discovered local meat, well raised.  Them I could justify eating it.  We are now taking that one step further and going truly local with our chicken.  Our back yard.  It makes one appreciate that chicken is not all boneless skinless breasts and that it takes some work to kill and clean and cook a chicken.  I more and more like that feeling.  Thank you chicken!