Life with Children

I was just thinking about how quickly you adjust to life with kids.  One day you're going out all night without a care in the world and the next you're an incubator and the next you're a mom.  With a little human to haul around and care for and feed and teach.

Suddenly you life revolves around something else.  The nap schedule dominates your day, how long you can stay at the store, or how many errands you can run in one trip.  They need food, you need food.  You need sleep.  Oh boy do you need sleep.

Then one day it is just what you do.  Blink you have 2 kids and its not that much more complicated, you just take a little more time to load everyone in the car but, heck, you did it with one, whats the big deal.  You suddenly find yourself forgetting what it was like to go out in the evenings without LOTS of planning, you forget what it was like before this tiny human was climbing over you all day, asking for hugs and telling you she is 'nunny' for crackers.  Your life adjusts, its bigger now.  Better.  Yes definitely better.

Thats what I keep telling myself as my son wakes up at 4am.  It goes by fast and it gets better everyday.  Anyone can survive a few years without sleep, but a lifetime with out hugs from tiny humans is a whole other loss.

As I wrote that last sentence, I thought of all the people I know who are struggling to have babies.  It is such a blessing and I am not unaware of your struggle.  You can borrow my children any day!  I wish I could do more.

Jealousy

Its hard not to compare kids.  I know, its silly, kids will be kids and do things at their own pace.  I know, they all even out in a few years and who would know that my daughter didn't walk until she was 14 months and her little friend walked at 11.

Its really hard for me not to compare at birthdays and Christmas and gift giving times however.  We are not wealthy.  We love to give things to our children but we don't/can't get them the Pottery Barn fancy things, we get them a fish.

Madeleine loves her fish.  Really the feeling of inadequacy is only in my head because a 2 year old can't compare yet.  For that I am thankful and I want to take that to heart.

I read somewhere recently that living in the moment is almost impossible.  We are creatures of the future, always thinking about the next step the next thing to do.  Children however are now creatures.  They enjoy what they have now.  I am learning to enjoy the now.  The things that we have that are great and amazing.  That my daughter is not yet old enough to realize the gap and not yet old enough to care.  May she never reach that age!  I am old enough to know better and so to remind myself when I fall into that mindset to 'snap out of it!'

We are giving our daughter everything she needs for a happy and healthy life, that is what I rejoice in and what I have to celebrate this Easter.  He is Risen!  Who needs plastic toys?

Complaining

So I was complaining in my head this morning as I unloaded the dishwasher.  We just moved into this house and the fridge we bought broke last week.  We had to replace it quickly with a lame fridge and i was thinking about how much I didn't like it.  And the dishwasher that came with the house functions, but its SO loud and there are occasionally bits of food still on the dishes.  And we still don't have hot water because we don't seem to be a priority to our contractor, no matter how much he says we are.  And on and on.  And stop.

But actually I do have a fridge that works, no matter that I don't like it.  I have a dishwasher, I have water.  I have so many things.  I really do need to stop whining and realize that I have a blessed life.  I have beautiful children, I have a beautiful house, I have a beautiful life.

I may not like everything I have, but who does?  Even people who have the perfect kitchen with those gleaming matched appliances complain.  Now if I had that I'm sure i wouldn't but....Yeah right.  I'd find something else to complain about.

By the way I also have this really great espresso maker.  Anyone who has a really great espresso maker is not allowed to complain about anything.  If you can make a latte in your own home that tasted better than Starbucks you have no grounds for complaints.  So there.  Remember that.

babies

So I think it was about this time after Madeleine was born that I started thinking about babies again.  She was sleeping well, getting so big and I did want another baby!  I also think that pregnancy amnesia sets in about now and its easy to forget how much being pregnant sucked.  
This morning I caught myself thinking these same things.  Justus is sleeping well (mostly) getting big and independent and this is around when i got pregnant with him. (8 months old).  'Oh how bad was it really'? I thought.  Being pregnant wasn't so bad was it?  Yes. It. Was.  Remember the daily vomiting? Remember the waddling? Remember how bad your house smelled to you?  Remember how tired you were and how you could barely lift your existing baby?  I know I know.  It really did completely suck.  Don't get pregnant.  At least now yet.  Wait just a little longer so you can forget just a little more.